The 35-year-old actress and her Spanish actor boyfriend Javier Bardem have told friends they are planning to tie the knot in the near future.

Penélope Cruz has pledged to co-star Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Bad news - it's not Scarlett Johansson.

But we give you a moment to imagine anyway. Perverse. Anyway, it turns out that in reality have undertook to Penelope Cruz, Javier Bardem, although the magazine two months ago, said she was busy he would never marry.

But congratulations to Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem anyway. The two have much in common - both are Spanish, for starters, and both had sex with Scarlett Johansson in a movie. Christ, why can we not leave it alone?

If, like us who have long held the belief that hecklerspray does not devote enough space to discuss the private lives of celebrities unattainable beautiful Spanish somehow strangely dull life would not be changed in the most least if one day suddenly disappeared from the earth's surface, so this is your lucky day! Penélope Cruz and Javier Bardem are committed.

Apparently, Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem are dating on and off since 1992, but nobody knew. This is due to both Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem are notoriously private about their personal lives, and not because they are both so boring that nobody gapingly have cared enough to check.

But, well, well done anyway - especially you, Penelope. Javier Bardem is twice the man her ex-boyfriend Tom Cruise will be. Literally, the man twice. You can literally save two Tom Cruise in the body of Javier Bardem and still have room for her collection of shoes. This is what we are trying to say. Tom Cruise is very small.